The greatest woman I have known in my life was without a doubt my Nan (don't panic, my wife knows this already). She moved in with us when I was around 2-years-old, after her husband died. Throughout my parents divorce, sister moving out, and both parents moving out, my Nan and I lived together for around 24 years! (Yes, I was late to fly the nest). After that, she moved to warden-assisted living, where she lived happily until she died a few years later. She was probably the best role model you could ask for, in so many ways, but particularly when talking about loneliness. Nan was a swan. When swans find their partner, that's it...for life. For Nan it was the same. Grandad dying back in the early 80s meant the end of her partnered life. She never met anyone else, nor even thought of looking for a new partner. It wasn't always easy over the years, and she wasn't always skipping with joy, but she was predominantly content with her life.

So, being the caring woman she was, a few years after the breakdown of my marriage, Nan phoned to check up on me. It was a fairly brief conversation:

Nan - "Ooh Nathan. You need to try and meet someone. I'm worried about you being so lonely all the time."

Me - "Nan, I'm fine, seriously. There's a difference between being lonely, and just being alone. I love my life."

And that was the end of that conversation. She got it. She'd lived that life. The point here is that we all make assumptions. We assume that the person on their own, who always turns down social invitations and sits on their own in the staff room, is the loneliest person out there. Conversely, we assume that the one who's always in the thick of it, life and soul of the party, could never possibly be lonely. I've talked about the dangers of that assumption in previous blogs.

So, lesson number 1 for the week. Never assume anything.